The world can't possibly exist. I mean, really. Think about all the crazy, random stuff in this world: shoes? The Eiffel Tower? Toaster pastries? Dogs? Bolivia? Hiccups? Chinese People?! Seriously. Think about how many different things there are. There are too many. It's ridiculous.

So, basically, I've decided that I don't believe in the world anymore. It's too vast.

But I'm still stuck here, at least until the hard drive melts down or whatever. So I'm glad you guys are here, too. Where's the fun in goldfish or hummus or Loch Ness if you don't have people with whom to share it all?